I went to my doctor yesterday, for my yearly check up. It was supposed to be very simple I go in, he runs a couple of tests and tells me I’m in good shape. Thereafter he was supposed to quote some verses from the doctors bible. Nobody knows what’s in the doctors bible because, well…it’s horribly written, the only people who can read the doctors bible are doctors, witchdoctors, pharmacists and witchpharmacists. Anyway some of the main commandments in there are (and I quote my doctor):

“-Thou shall stop running away from veggies.
-Thou shall love exercise as thyself.
-Thou shall not consume an abundance of hot-wings on the Sabbath.
Thou shall lay off the red liquid from the holy communion”

To which I contend, ‘But I have to have more of the blood of Jesus doctor?’

He did, however, say something out-of-character for a bachelor-doctor that drives an M3, and owns a lofty pad. ‘You should share your emotions more man’,
I was shocked, is this a Pharisee-doctor?

‘What are emotions doctor?’ I enquired.

And then he went on some long scientific and psychological explanation, enough to help me understand that they are very immusculating things men carry, usually locked up in some prison. Apparently it’s part of the reason why some men get heart attacks, and strokes because they keep these ’emotion’ thingies locked up.
The more he explained this the more I realized that the only way we men have emotions is because they’re pretty contagious. We contracted them from spending to much time with ladies, running after them and consuming large amounts of their…..*clears throat*

That’s why we keep these ’emotion’ thingies locked up, because we don’t know how to handle them. Women are used to handling them, they cry, vent, buy teddy bears, watch Oprah, hire psychologists, talk and talk and cry some more.

So in case you are wondering why I wrote this piece, I just want you to know that it is an order from the doctor, and I follow doctors orders.

I just watched on television how married women, cheat on their husbands…and vice versa. It angered me particularly because I’ve been thinking alot about this whole love-process that we apparently all have to go through. I have seen over my life some of my good friends blatantly hurting people that they loved, and I have seen my innocent friends being hurt by people that they loved and cherished.
You see I can cope with mistakes, I would be a fool not to think that in this emotion-induced drunkenss people are not bound to hurt each other here and there. But the problem with some of these situations is that some people just do it on purpose, they intentionally cheat on you, and then want to rub on you tomorrow morning as if they didn’t just go and exchange passionate gestures with somebody else. Sies Maan. Sies.

Okay this is getting hectic, let me gather myself, we’ll finish this tomorrow.